No, I don't mean sexually. I already did that, haha! I mean career wise.
After a year of temporary insanity and emotional grief that I had to work through, I was ready to get back some semblance of my career. I had been out of it so long that I was afraid to jump back in. I also needed money immediately so I could get my own place. Which meant going back into the restaurant industry. It was always good to me and a good way to make decent money fast.
During my "temporary insanity" year was when I was working in restaurants. My mental state was fragile and I was lost. I was always the oldest person working there as a waitress. I had to stick it out as a single mom, I didn't have much choice. I began to grow disdain for people younger than me bossing me around. I know it's my ego, but I eventually, after trying a few different places, it got to me so much I decided "that's it". I need to get back to what I love doing at what I'm good at, but I still had to work. And I needed to get back to who I was before. Not all of it, that girl is long gone. But the parts I lost that should never have gone away.
My career before I became a stay at home mom, was Video/Film editor. I lOVED doing it. I was doing freelance still right up until I became pregnant with my second child. But after leaving my husband my confidence was shot. I had no motivation and no focus. Not until recently did I come out of the haze and begin to have more faith in myself.
So I decided to use my skills to do something, start something....but I didn't know what. My mother called me one day and said "I have a job for you, you interested?" Of course I said yes. What started as a small one time job for a friend of hers suddenly snow balled into a small business. I had motivation again. I couldn't wait to get working in the morning because it was MY business. I am the boss and decide what I want to do and how. Thinking about it now, I think that was so necessary for me. My marriage was very much about control and I never felt I could do anything without permission. I think I got the same feeling from working in restaurants and I finally said enough is enough.
My business is still at the beginning faze but it is growing exponentially. I have hit the ground running and I haven't felt this inspired in a long time. It's a F#@$ing amazing feeling. And I think that feeling is magnified because of the juxtaposition of my emotional grief year. That's the nature of humanity though. You can't appreciate and feel the good without experiencing whole heartedly the bad. It makes life taste that much sweeter.
I'm not there yet, but I finally feel above water. Well at least my head is. It's still a long road.
I'd love to hear some of your stories about getting yourself back to you...
If you'd like to check out what my new business is click the link below.