Updated: Mar 23
There are always two sides in a divorce. I'm talking within the fairly normal range, not counting the exceptions of physical abuse.
But when two people end a relationship, no matter what, it takes two. Yes, I had my reasons for leaving, but it doesn't mean he was the only one at fault. It's never black and white, and there's a lot of grey area.
My ex is a good human being, very temperamental, but good. He is a wonderful father and loves our boys dearly. But was he a good husband.....unfortunately didn't work out that way.
Now I'm not gonna get into the nitty gritty of it all. The fact is we can sit here all day and say "well you did this" or "you did that", but that doesn't help anything once it's already broken. It took me only till recently to understand that. I feel like I've grown a lot since I left him. And my reasons were valid. But he's the father of my children, and we will always have a relationship. And for the sake of our boys, it makes much more sense to let go of our own issues and move forward. Try to forge a new kind of relationship. One that's healthy for everyone.
A hike I took by myself for self reflection soon after my separation.
It's still a work in progress, but we are BOTH trying. And I really thank him for that. It was hard to let go of my anger, and it's still there in the back of my head, as it is for him too. But after this year of beating our heads against the wall, I think we are both just tired of it.
Point being, just because you make mistakes, doesn't make you a bad person. It just makes you human. And I'm okay with that. It's how you learn from them that makes you better. And I'm trying. And I'd like to think he is too.